This World Really Sucks

last weekend went to visit my grandmother at NUH with my mum. she is very old (89 years old) n too weak to walk n need help to move around the house.

last friday, in the middle of the night, she suddenly woke up n struggled to the toilet by herself without waking the sleeping maid. she fell n broke 2 of her ribs n now landed in the hospital but she is ok now, just warded for further observation due to her old age.

i was travelling in mum´s car n suddenly i heard this chinese song played in her CD and omg the lyrics of the song just punched me right there, hard n right onto my nose.

a song by 陈升, "把悲伤留给自己". just to share the following lyrics of the song with you:

把悲伤留给自己
(词 曲:陈升)

能不能让我陪着你走
既然你说留不住你
回去的路有些黑暗
担心让你一个人走

我想是因为我不够温柔
不能分担你的忧愁
如果这样说不出口
就把遗憾放在心中

把我的悲伤留给自己
你的美丽让你带走
从此以后我再没有快乐起来的理由
我想我可以忍住悲伤
可不可以
你也会想起我

是不是可以牵你的手啊
从来没有这样要求
怕你难过转身就走
那就这样吧我会了解的

我想我可以忍住悲伤
假装生命中没有你
从此以后我在这里
日夜等待你的消息

能不能让我陪着你走
既然你说留不住你
无论你在天涯海角
时不时的偶尔会想起我
可不可以你也会想起我
可不可以

i wl talk to angie again, not to ask her to re-consider her choice of marrying that old man, but the reason behind it. she has not told me her reason for the sudden marriage arrangement.

i respect her decision but at least tell me the reason.

once loved, the feeling wl stay even though she may be someone else´s wife soon.

i dont believe it! not a bit at all but guess in the field of relationship, nothing is logical nor rational.

ever since my school started, i hv been very busy but still i met up with angie at least once a week if not twice or thrice, usually on weekends.

we did the usual stuff, catch a movie, watch dvd at home, shopping, eating out, clubbing n making out.

although we did say from the start that our relationship is dispensible without any commitment whatsoever but when the feeling is no longer there and the heart changes, theres no turning back.

now i am single again n dont think i wl be feeling sad over this sour relationship for too long. what is done cannot be undone. just hope that she is happy with her choice.

i shall decide later whether i will be attending her wedding dinner or not when the date is nearer.

though it was a total shock to me when she gave me her wedding invitation card last weekend, i know i hv to let her go.

yes, her wedding news did break my heart but again, i have loved her before and now that she is getting married, i know i hv to get use to not able to be with her again.

since its her choice, and loving her is to let her go

i wl be fine, i reckon...